The End of Innocence By Teresa Cook


As far as anyone could tell, our 18-year-old son, Brandon, active in church and missions, personified the ideal Christian young man.
But Brandon had a secret. Shortly after beginning his first semester at college, our son approached us one morning. "I have something I need to confess to you," he said with a quivering voice.
As we sat waiting for Brandon to muster the courage to speak, we wondered what he could possibly tell us was so difficult to say. A flood of pain poured from our son`s heart with one simple sentence.
``I`m addicted to pornography,`` he admitted.
Brandon had been sneaking out of his room in the middle of the night for more than a year, watching the pornographic cable channel he had accidentally stumbled upon. Never would we have envisioned the filth that was coming into our home on station to which we did not subscribe, that the cable company was supposed to have blocked.
``I tried over and over to stop, but couldn`t,`` Brandon sobbed. ``I think I need help!``
But where do you turn for something like this?
Pornography addiction is prevalent in our nation, a plague spreading at unprecedented proportions. Sex is the number one topic searched on the Internet, with 72 million users visiting pornographic websites each year. With the figures growing daily, pornography poses a serious threat to the family.
Despite statistics, our church body is often lulled into believing we are safe, that our husbands, fathers, sons (even our daughters or wives), pastors or church leaders are somehow coated with spiritual teflon against the insidious effects of pornography. Numerous surveys show otherwise. Proven Men Ministries has found that rates of pornography within the Christian community are as high within the Christian community as in the secular world.
After Brandon's confession, Steve and I took a crash course in the chilling facts of pornography. Viewing pornography can actually become a powerful, mood-altering addiction, causing the release of endorphins resulting in similar effects to pain killers such as morphine. The addict literally gets high on his own brain chemicals.
We also found that the images become burned into the addict's brain, just as one would burn pictures onto a CD, a CD that can begin playing at any moment. The younger a person is when he sees pornography - and the longer he is exposed to it - the more embedded it becomes. The most frightening aspect of pornography addiction is its progressive nature and the potential for more risky and deviant sexual behaviour.
However, we now know that God's guiding hand compelled Brandon to come to us when he did. At least we had a head start in helping our son find freedom.

Finding Help

With the help of supportive family organizations, we located a Christian counselor skilled in treating sexual addictions. Since accontability is one of the deterrents to relapse, the counselor advised Brandon to attend a support group for pornography addicts.
Steve and I also instituted a protection plan at home that addressed physical, mental, spiritual and social aspects of the addiction. Though only a small part of helping Brandon overcome his struggle, we modeled behaviours that Brandon would need to implement for himself once he was on his own. Among other actions, we installed filters on our Internet, called the cable company to block several channels, discarded materials that invoked fantasy (including catalogues with underwear ads) and memorized scripture about temptation.
Out of Brandon's pain, a new direction for his life has been born; he now attends graduate school majoring in the treatment of sexual addictions. When he becomes a counselor, God will have taken the most devastating experience in our son's life to use it to free others from the trap of pornography.

For important information about overcoming pornography and God's design for sexuality, a good resource is www.pureintimicy.org.

Teresa Cook and her husband, Steve, reside in Mississippi. Article reprinted by permission of Teresa Cook.